It was a tense and long Friday (07 Jun). I was about to meet up with some old friends for breakfast and discuss investment ideas when I received an urgent call that my dad had injured himself while exercising.
Their domestic helper called me to say that an ambulance had sent him to the hospital as he had a fall. She was panicky and almost in tears that it had happened under her watch.
My sister and I quickly rushed to the hospital’s A&E department to check out what had happened. I was shocked to see that there was so much dried blood on my dad when I saw him as I tried to figure out what happened.
He had decided to go for a morning exercise for the first time, by himself without informing the helper. He walked around the block and then went to the exercise park to try to use the machines there. Apparently, he missed a step and fell. There was a deep cut just above his right eye. A good samaritan came to help him immediately.
He was still alert and gave his home number for the person to call to inform our helper. Meanwhile, an ambulance was also activated to transport him to the nearest hospital for immediate treatment.
We had to register him as he had no identification on him and the hospital required the next of kin to provide the information so that they could pull up his past medical records before treating him. We did what we could and the doctor recommended that they do blood tests, scans and X-rays. Given his age at 95, a fall may be a traumatic event on his body and it was better to err on the safe side to do a thorough checkup.
My sister and brother-in-law stayed behind to observe him as I had to rush back to the office. It turned out to be a long day at work with multiple meetings and long discussions which I had difficulty concentrating on.
The doctor called me later that morning to update me on their findings. It seems like he also tested positive for COVID-19 and hence will have to be warded because of his age. It was also necessary to keep him for observation because of his bad fall and he needed stitches to sew up the deep cut above his eye.
After my meetings ended around 5, I rushed to his place to collect a bag of items that my sis had packed which he would need for his stay in the hospital. It seems likely now that it will be for at least a few days.
At the hospital, he was still in the A&E area waiting for all the test results even though his room was ready. He will be putting up at the NCID (National Center for Infectious Diseases) building since he tested positive for COVID-19. He had not eaten the whole day as he did not feel hungry. I made him eat some of the porridge which was provided for dinner and made him drink more water to avoid dehydration. He said his lungs felt dry.
By now, his right eye had swollen up quite a lot as they had done a scope to check that it was not damaged by the fall. They had also applied stitches to the cut above that eye which had caused a lot of bleeding. He had also suffered some fractures around his right eye and nose because of the fall. The eye doctor confirmed that his right eye was not damaged by the fall.
He was finally moved to his room at 7 pm and I settled him in before leaving for the night. Visitation was limited to only 2 persons and the hours were 12 to 2 pm and 5 to 8 pm.
The next morning, the doctor in charge called me to update me. The swelling has gone down. The eye and plastic surgeons were also looking into his case for the first time. They will follow up with appointments later next week to assess his next course of action.
By Sunday, the swelling had subsided even more. That was when I realised that the cut above his eye was quite deep as one can see many stitches holding together the flap of skin where the cut occurred. We would want to recommend to the doctor to let him remain in the hospital for a few more days when he reviews his case on Monday morning.
Life is so fragile as I had discovered in the last 12 months seeing my parents deteriorating physically and mentally as they move to the next stage of ageing. My mum, at 90 years old, had seen dementia creeping in fast as she loses her short-term memory and repeats herself. She cannot remember names and becomes unaware of the environment around her.
Our parents have been living alone together for many years. We could see the stress in my dad as he had to not only take care of himself but my mum too, whose condition had worsened considerably. Our family finally convinced my dad we had to hire a domestic live-in helper for them last Dec and chose one with him after several video interviews.
Things have turned out well in the last 5 months with someone looking after them full time. It has also given us peace of mind knowing that their comfort and day-to-day needs were been taken care of.
This was a new experience for us siblings as we were never prepared for the speed at which their physical and mental health had deteriorated. If one of them had passed on suddenly now, the other survivor would be helpless and unable to take care of themselves and would require support.
I never thought about this stage of life and ageing as it seems so far away until it hits you personally with our loved ones we are close to. It was funny that roles would be reversed when the child became the parent and caregiver.
We must cherish the remaining moments we have left with our parents and make the most of it. Our siblings need each other as a support group to chip in as best as we can so that our parents’ lives are as comfortable as possible in their twilight years.
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