I have been talking about this topic frequently with friends and an event I attended this week re-enforced it. I do reflect on my peers who are all around my age group and I observe that we are all going through each of our halftime experience in our own ways.
Bob Bulford wrote the book “Halftime : Moving from Success to Significance” almost 20 years ago. https://www.amazon.com/Halftime-Significance-Bob-P-Buford/dp/0310344441 When we were teenagers, we experienced a puberty stage as part of growing up. As we move towards our mid-life, Bulford explains that everyone will go through another halftime phase that can be a traumatic experience.
It could be as early as the late thirties, right into our fifties. By then, we have had some level of success in our careers, the family is established as kids are older and we have attained a certain level of financial independence. One then starts to question “What’s next?”. What will one be remembered for, given that more than half our lives have passed?
How we react to this halftime experience will help us prepare for the next phase in our lives. When you are fifty, you probably wonder where all those years went and can you live for another 20 more years? That forces you to set your priorities right, rather than just focusing on more monetary gains.
Mine came when I was suddenly retrenched at the peak of my career at 46. I went from hero to zero overnight. It was as if my knees were chopped off. I struggled to find another job and a friend suggested that I read this book. Over the next couple of years, this strive for significance gained traction and meaning for me. How can we give back to society was more appealing to me than comparing salaries. One can still cut down on your expenses and still feel happier. Just solely focusing on gaining material wealth alone can start to feel so hollow.
I look around me and see more friends, especially the male ones, facing this phase of confusion and uncertainty. How do we face it and prepare for the journey forward is important. Talking about it with like-minded people helps, to share each other’s unique experience.
I started to also observe some success stories of people who had managed to move from success to significance and I am encouraged to learn from them. One such event I attended this week was a good example. I was invited to a dinner to celebrate the creation of an endowment fund in honour of a man who had dedicated his life to the university that he had help steered for many years.
As he had to get financial support through a scholarship during his undergrad days, it was fitting that this endowment fund will also be helping more students financially. He had also recently retired from his role and this will be one of his moves to significance, to give back to the society that has been so generous to him. He will be able to spend more time now to do more things that will be more meaningful for him going forward. https://www.straitstimes.com/singapore/nus-starts-new-endowed-fund-in-honour-of-former-president-tan-chorh-chuan
I do wish everyone well as they face their personal halftimes. While I can share my experience with them, each person’s path will be unique which only the individual can understand, overcome and conquer on his own. Recognizing that you are experiencing your own halftime is a good first step in the right direction.
Leave a Reply