Mentorship

Mentorship – the providing of guidance by a mentor, especially an experienced person in a company or educational institution to another person, normally known as the mentee.

As I reflect on the various stages of my life, I begin to wonder if it would have been better if I could have had someone older and wiser to guide me along the way, rather than having a trial and error approach towards my life journey. Talking with friends worked sometimes, but most are probably experiencing the same situation like me without any experience to fall back on.

Two memorable occasions come to mind for me. Once, when I was in junior college, I suddenly felt a deep sense of loss and unease for days. The funk made me question the meaning of life, the purpose of studying. A wise friend finally pulled me aside and comforted me. He told me that he had also gone through this phase too, that everyone goes through this unease and it was perfectly OK because in will pass. Years later, I realized that I was probably going through a puberty stage. The hormonal changes within a teenager could likely be the cause.

Another event happened when I was suddenly retrenched at 46 and had a difficult time trying to look for a job (10 months, 60+ interviews and counting). A friend recommended that I read the book Halftime by Bob Bulford. Again, this helped me to understand that everyone goes through this mid-life crisis stage in life where we will be forced to seriously reflect on our career achievements. Eventually, one’s thinking will evolved to a chapter of aiming for significance in the second half (Act 2) of our lives.

During my banking career, I had the opportunity to mentor a number of  younger colleagues. I hope that I had value added to them by sharing my life experiences and lessons learnt. I do believe in sharing, being transparent and walking the talk. If I can shortcut the learning process for them, why not?

At this stage of my life, it will be about seeking significance and giving back to the community. While work and making money is important, there is more to that than life itself. Perhaps we have another good 20 to 30 years left and looking back on the past 50 years, our priorities should change.

In the last few weeks, I have started to reach out to the schools I attended to offer my time to the alumni groups. I had a meeting with my secondary/Junior College alumni team 2 weeks back to have a preliminary brainstorming session to see how we can reach out to tap the powerful group of ex-students. The idea is to bring like minded people to be able to offer to give back to the school in many other ways, not just financially. Increasing the profile of the alumni association will be a good first step, in my humble opinion.

I had also signed up for the mentorship program in my uni a few months ago. I was accepted and we had a meet your mentor/mentee dinner get together on Monday. This was my first year of participation. The program had already been running for 6 years.

We were assigned to specific standing tables to position ourselves while the undergrads mingle around us to get to know us better. Our mentor profiles were given out to them a few days earlier and the tables were based on the industries we were in. I was in the financial sector table and met a few familiar ex-colleague faces there.

Overall, I had a few sessions with groups of students for a friendly get to know you chat. If a mentor hit it off with a mentee, both persons could immediately match each other and fill out the forms at the end of the evening. I had provided my LinkedIn profile prior to the dinner and wanted to see how many would do their homework before the dinner and connect with me prior to the dinner. A hand full of them did.

While I thought that this program would be more applicable to final year students getting ready to join the workforce soon, the majority were made up of first and second year students. I guess the seniors are too preoccupied with their exams, overseas attachments and internships.

I eventually spent most of my time with a few students and had a fruitful discussion. I was trying to evaluate the undergrads whom I can value add to based on my experiences. I was also looking for commitment as it takes 2 hands to clap in a mentor/mentee relationship. Last thing I want is a reluctant mentee going through the motion and non-commital to the program.

After sleeping over it, I decided to emailed the organizers the next day on my choice of the 2 candidates. I think we will make a good match and that I can add value to them as mentor. One of my selected student emailed me the following day to thank me for my time and inform me that I am his first choice. Great to know we have a match! The organizers subsequently confirmed for both parties and the mentorship will begin next month, after the undergrads’ term exams. I am excited to see how this will turn out in the next 6 months and hope to establish a good rapport with him.

Off to an early night cap tonight. I have to get up early tomorrow for my slightly less than half marathon (18.45 km) run at 5 am.