A pretty quiet week of reflection for me, catching up on my readings and doing my online AI course. Two things stood out for me this week. It started my thoughts on life’s fragility, that what we usually take for granted may suddenly be pulled away from us. One may not realize its importance until we lose it.
The first happened early in the week. A Myanmar contact of mine whom I have worked with for the past 1.5 years had a heart attack. He was warded into the Yangon ICU unit and had to do a stent operation immediately as his artery was blocked. Another 2 more were also blocked and the doctors decided that he should not be moved to S’pore for treatment until his condition stabilizes.
My friend works very hard and he is the group CFO of a big company managing many subsidiaries. He is just a year younger than me. We finally got to know each other better when we attended a forum in BKK in Jan this year. We spoke about our kids who were about the same age and retirement aspirations. He was looking for a place in Asia to retire in 2 years time as he does not think he will go back to his home country, having worked overseas for many years now.
He loves his food and we were always encouraging him to exercise, but he has no time for this as he was a workaholic. He is fully dedicated to his family and was very close to his daughter. He wanted what is best for her and had sent her to Canada for her university education last year.
He is much better now and recovering. A health scare like this would be a wake-up call to most of us. Hopefully, he will realize that and come to a better work-life balance, eat healthier and exercise regularly. We have but one life to give and we should invest in our body as it is the temple where we should cherish and provide our offerings.
As we near mid-life, we need to prepare for the next 30 to 50 years. In order to have a quality senior citizen lifestyle, we have to put in the effort to maintain the body that is already battered for many years. By then, we are not a spring chicken anymore. Aches take months to heal and go away.
The 2nd event of the week concerns a younger friend who is going through a tough period of his life now. He is finalizing a divorce that was due to infidelity on his part. I have known both of them for almost 20 years, both as colleagues and good friends.
As an outsider looking in, I have been able to observe from afar the lives of this couple. They had also been trying unsuccessfully to start a family for many years. This stress had probably resulted in them drifting apart slowly over the years. They are more like good friends rather than being husband and wife. She was more trusting of the relationship and had been getting closer to church for support, after multiple failed attempts to get pregnant.
With busy careers, both travel for work often and may not see each other for weeks at a time. He was starting to feel lonely in the relationship and temptation seeped in. There was no turning back for her once she realized the betrayal which was going on behind her back for more than a year. Things got ugly and lawyers have come into the picture. There is regret now but the wounds are too deep for her. Only time will heal, I hope.
As I am closer to him, we have been meeting frequently over the last few weeks. We go for long morning walks to help him get out of his depressive state and contain his panic attacks. His remorse and realization of losing a life partner of more than 20+ years are starting to sink in. He is at a loss now, feeling really stupid and angry at himself for not treasuring what he now realized was important to him.
I can only try to hear him out as a friend and comfort him. Saying that time will heal. When old doors close, other new ones may open. He needs to refocus himself on simple things like a daily schedule in order to prevent himself from getting into a depressive state of mind.
The 2 events remind me again of the fragility of life. What we take for granted may oftentimes be suddenly taken away from us. We can only try to prepare for such times, constantly question our actions to predict potential future consequences. One needs to always know what is important in our lives, to treasure and prioritize them above all others. That clarity will drive a purposefully driven lifestyle which will maintain health and happiness.
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