Intensity

What is Intensity? The definition is “the quality of being intense”. If the intensity is towards something that consumes one’s heart totally, the sweet smell of success is so euphoric and uplifting that you hit a natural high. On the other hand, if the intensity is constant and involves things you cannot control, it can break you down.

This word has been coming up to me constantly this week. It started with a periodic lunch from the CEO for a big group of senior management members. The sentence from him that stayed with me was: “I see a lot more of intensity nowadays. It is good and I want everyone to keep it up.”

Yes, since I joined 5 months ago, it has been nothing BUT intensity. Changes are so constant that every day is an adventure, not knowing what will hit you next. You just bear with it and push ahead. People who have been around the bank longer have also told me that they feel it too. Apparently, for the last 5 years, there were 5 top management changes and hence nothing long-term could be implemented effectively and people have just been following the tide. This time, things seem more serious and we get news of people being let go every other week, tighter timelines and full head on challenges coming fast and furious…  Seems like every other global bank work environment is like that now. The clock is ticking faster and faster, timelines are getting more urgent and the rat race treadmill is spinning out of control.

That recent numbing tightness at the back of my head does not seem to be going away. My tensed shoulders look like the result of the stress I am going through. I need a good massage. I like to think that I want to continue to give it my best for as long as I can, or until I come to an “enough is enough” moment.

Nearing the tail end of my career now, so this is my final run towards the retirement finishing line. I would like to end this with a bang and say that it was a good finish, that I have accomplished something and left a legacy behind. It sounds a bit cliquish but one should always aim high to overachieve, then plan meticulously on how one can reach that goal. If I get it right, the upside is big. If not, then at least I can say that I have given it my best shot.