Giving Thanks

‘Tis the week of Thanksgiving in America. These are big family meal events filled with turkey and pumpkin pie. This annual tradition of giving thanks date back to the origin of celebrating a good harvest which began a few hundred years ago. The “First Thanksgiving” happened after the first harvest by the American Pilgrims in the New World in October 1621. The feast lasted three days and was also attended by Native Americans back then.

It was recognized as a happy occasion to cement family unity, to give thanks for pulling through another tough 12 months as well as to prepare for Christmas celebrations and getting ready to hunker down for the bleak winter ahead. With the harvest, food can be stored to weather the freezing cold as they head into the new year to welcome spring and the planting of new crops again.

Times were different then and a full stomach was what everyone wished for. In our modern times, most things are taken for granted as our lives become more complex. Sometimes we lose sight of the little blessings around us and worry about the many things that are beyond our control.

Every day should be a Thanksgiving day, where we count our blessings and give thanks on a daily basis. The act of humility and gratefulness allows one to refocus on what is important and filter out the unnecessary noises that cloud our minds. It helps to prioritize and elevate the things we value most while brushing off the unimportant stuff.

Like in work and life, the 80/20 rule is all around us. In business, 20% of your clients usually provide 80% of the total revenue. The trick is to focus and nurture this 20%, to keep them close to your chest. Likewise, recognizing your top 20% priorities and maintaining them will keep you happy 80% of the time.

Once you are able to visualize them, giving thanks and counting your blessings daily would add to one’s fulfilment. It is an easy concept but yet it takes much effort to follow and maintain. There are multiple external distractions that can easily make you forget your priorities. Negative thoughts and emotions like jealousy and hatred can often derail us.

I live by the simple principle of staying healthy and happy. Whenever I encounter an event or process, I will ask if they bring me towards these 2 objectives. This will be my guiding light to pursue or distance myself from it. Negativity is to be avoided while positivity is embraced.

As I passed my halftime in life at 56, there may be 10, 30 or 50 more years ahead of me. The book “The 100-year life” talks about the new 5.0 life journey stage versus the old 3.0 stages of childhood, career and retirement. The reality of a longer life span means that one has to extend 3.0 into 5.0 which develops into the 4th and 5th stages to adapt to a new mode of living. Having a lifelong learning attitude is crucial to this process.

Career changes are necessary to provide financial security while balancing the need for a slower lifestyle. A lower paying and less stressful Full-time or part-time work can provide for extra income to support a simpler day-to-day requirement. Alternatively, working pro bono in community or charity work can also fulfil the heart and keep one active if one’s financials can afford it.

We are of the generation that retires earlier than our parents by our 50s but yet will be destined to live longer. We do not expect our children to support us into our 2nd halftime and so we need to build a nest egg that can provide for a longer runway. We need to fill the void of the next many years with clear goals and objectives in order to maintain and sharpen the ageing body and mind.

It is a work in progress filled with experimentation and discussion with friends on how we can stay active. There is a tendency to retreat into one’s own cocoon to shut oneself from the rest of the world. This should be proactively avoided. The connected world of social media and technology helps us create and maintain multiple support groups to engage with. We must harvest these tools to our advantage in order to maximize our happiness. Negativity can be reduced by exiting those toxic groups that hinder our healthy and happy goals.

I look forward to each day with a highlight-of-the-day event to perk me up. It could be as simple as having a morning run, meeting someone for lunch or just going to a movie. Little daily joys lengthen the overall period of happiness. Counting my blessings every day also provides contentment and reminds me of how fortunate I am.

I took my 93-year-old dad for a medical check-up yesterday. The 4 hours I spent with him were precious to me. He provided for me and made me who I am today with whatever he could with the resources he had with my mum. He could have done much better if he had the opportunities I was given. Now is the time that his children should give back and take care of him.

Just holding his hands to walk to guide him and sharing a meal with him was so rewarding to me. His physical facilities have weakened over the years but he keeps himself busy with various hobbies and activities. He knows that his body is weaker now and has accepted and adapted accordingly. A simple task like updating a checklist could become a full-day event as he labouriously copies the finalized list by hand to produce duplicates to share with us. Buying a cabinet and fixing it by hand is a new project that he looks forward to doing.

The bottom line is to simplify our lives, stay focused on the important things and be grateful, feeling blessed to give thanks for what we have. Happy Thanksgiving!


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